Moving Through Fear
Five years ago this week I had my first major surgery. As a breast cancer survivor, I know fear pretty well. The truth is, that fear is an emotion and feelings are temporary. This fact has gotten me through my fair share of scary and overwhelming situations both personally and professionally.
I often talk to my clients about dancing with the illusion of fear. As an entrepreneur, we often feel fearful about things that might happen, we project ourselves into a potential future situation. There is so much power in staying in the NOW. Right here, in the now, we are usually ok. It is when we worry about something that happened in our past or ruminate over possible events of the future that we get into trouble.
I say this with confidence right now because tomorrow I am going in for my second major surgery because of a cyst on my ovary. As a cancer survivor, this is very unsettling and has me back on the fear roller coaster. Even in the midst of this difficult time, I feel pockets of peace and comfort when I bring myself into the now.
How do you do this? You let the wave of fear, grief, pain, and loss wash over you when it comes. When you feel it coming, you don’t stuff it down or push it away. Welcome it, feel where you feel it in your body and let the emotion swell up and pass through. The magical peaceful moments are there on the other side of the storm.
Remain in the present moment as much as you can. When you are in the throws of anxiety, this is absolutely easier said than done. It helps to think of it as a practice. Just like you practice yoga or practice playing the piano, you keep showing up and you keep starting over. When you mess up (and you will), don’t give up, simply begin again. Continually bringing yourself back to this moment, here and now.
There are so many ways to be in the present moment. You can notice your senses, feel the ground under your feet, smells in the air, feel the clothing on your body. Take five deep belly breaths (google that if you don’t know how, it is life changing). Connect with a child or pet, they are amazing at bringing us back into the present. Get yourself a glass of water and notice how good it feels to hydrate your body. Moving your body is also miraculous when it comes to shifting your energy, even after a walk around the block you will notice a difference.
Reaching out for support is another way that I move through fear. This one looks different for everyone. Perhaps it is a loved one, a prayer to your higher power or even your higher self. The key is that you share how you are feeling and you allow the support in. You don’t need to know what you are asking for. Simply share how you are feeling and trust that the support you need will show up. You can start small and keep building upon this skill like a muscle. Some people are very private and not as comfortable with this, you can even start by writing your feelings down in a journal.
As I step into a fear filled evening, I will remind you and myself of one final fact. You can not feel gratitude and fear at the same time. So this evening and tomorrow morning, I will be finding every tiny little bit of gratitude that I can. Like the square of dark chocolate my husband just brought me, the peaceful music in my Air Pods, my friend who sent me this uplifting playlist, good nutritious foods, the smiles on my children’s faces all the way until the kind and loving nurses that I know I’m about to meet. When I move my attention to that which I am grateful for, fear doesn’t overtake me.
